PART 1: DISCOVERY
My daughter was diagnosed as an Autistic about 4 years ago. When her psychologist explained how she experiences the world, I started crying: It was EXACTLY how I felt at her age! We proceeded to test me as well and I was also diagnosed as Autistic. It was as if everything just clicked and made sense. The artworks representing this phase are the portrait of my daughter, Nina, and my Self Portrait.
After my diagnosis, I was distraught and confused. And angry. My mind felt jumbled, there was so much information to take in and a lot to learn about Neurodiversity. All the trauma and bad experiences I had up until my diagnosis at 30 I suddenly had to rewire and re-attribute my experiences to this diagnosis. When I was younger, there weren’t the diagnostic tools we have now, and thus it was never picked up. I always knew something was different about me. I could never understand why other people seem to float through life so easily, and for me, everything was constantly overwhelming and confusing.
CONSCIOUSNESS – DEFRAGMENTED symbolizes this confusion I’ve experienced my whole life. But in a certain way, it also symbolizes the confusion all of us experience at some point in our lives, where we ask the questions: What am I doing here? What is the purpose of life? What is my purpose?
Through this all I knew there had to be a reason I was put on this earth, I knew there had to be an answer somewhere- because others had seemingly found it and were living happy lives.Luckily, I learned to be a problem-solver from both my parents. And not only that, to be a creative problem-solver and to not look at the obvious solutions to problems and challenges.